ٍٍٍٍٍٍٍEarly morning i woke up so happily to read  the new weblog of my friend Bahareh. Reading my friends weblogs feels like a gift. I thought maybe some of my friends once can feel the same when reading mine. That's why I started to write. 

Today I  want to go to the Iranian filmfestival in Utrecht. It is the fisrt year that this festival is full with different programs and it takes more than one day...It was difficult for me to make new friendship during this first three years in the Netherlands, It gave me always the feeling to loose my old freinds instead of making more friends...

It is the first year I feel  I need new Iranian  friends here...

It is the first time I want to extend my friendships.

It is the firts time I want to share my unknown feeling to my freinds..., most of them know me as a rational and idealistic woman...

It was always difficult to open my heart...to talk about my feelings..

From the moments that I got familar with my husband, my feelings came closer to my reality in appearance, closer to what other experience from me.

In this country I  became more patient and stronger, but also more frigable...

It is the first time I feel that I know more and less of maybe a bit enough about this culture. Now I like to know more about  my own culture...I don't know why?

Mayebe someoone will come soon to my life, maybe that is why I am restless, maybe that is why I am gready to know more about my country, I think  I am a bit worried how I can raise up my child with two cultures and with two langauges. I think I am scared that my child doesn't want or can't talk Farsi with me. I think I am a bit scared that my child can't understand me.


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طاهره جونم خوشحالم که تو هم وبلاگ دار شدی. در مورد دوست پیدا کردن هم کاملا حرفتو میفهمم. دوست پیدا کردن تو یه کشور غریبه با فرهنگ غریبه کاره سختیه. تجربه من تو این سه سال و اندی اینه که خیلی راحتر میشه با آدمهایی مهاجر دوست شد. البته هیچ وقت مثل دوستیهای دوران دانشگاه و مدرسمون نمیشه. در مورده بچه هم من هم همین دغدغهای ذهنی رو دارم.


بهاره جونم ممنون از همدرديت. راست مي گی دوستی با مهاجرها راحت ترهو شايد به خاطره يک کم مشترکات که هر دو مهاجرت کرديم.